Feeling sad is a natural part of the human experience. Jesus and Our Lady experienced profound sadness, all of the holy saints in heaven experienced sadness, and we will all experience it from time to time.
Thankfully, saints like St. Francis de Sales have left behind incredible wisdom for navigating the ebbs and flows of this earthly life. Today, we are exploring and unpacking some specific ways to apply his wisdom provided in his book, “Consoling Thoughts on Trials of an Interior Life,” in the chapter titled: “Remedies for a Bad Sadness.”
Let’s Begin…
- have patience
- It is true that feelings are fleeting. It is a core principle within mental health and psychology, that feelings are not fact, and do not last forever; feelings are like waves that come and go, even though in the moment we feel that they shall last forever.
- And so with sadness, let us remember to be patient and not become frustrated. This too shall pass.
- contradict what sadness makes us want to do
- For most of us, I would dare to say, we tend to want to retreat inward, throw our hands in the air in defeat, and isolate in a “negativity cave” when we feel sad. This makes the evil one VERY happy, to see us grow more “down.”
- And so when sad, let us be all the more determined to counteract our inclinations, and reject the enemy’s temptations to “isolate,” “give up on our responsibilities,” and so on. Rather, let us continue on with our lives because, since doing so requires more effort, it is a greater “slap in the face” to the evil one!!
- sing spiritual songs
- A common tendency when sad is to dwell in that sadness, to almost indulge in it through media which reinforces our sadness, like listening to sad songs.
- Rather, let us remember that the sacred music of the harp quieted the agitated spirit within Saul, and we can allow the same to occur with us! Let us turn on some beautiful orchestral music, listen to Gregorian chant (which literally makes the evil one flee), or play some Christian music!
- engage in activities that busy the mind and body
- When sad, we often want to turn inward and find ourselves drowning in our sad or anxious thoughts.
- May we rather find an activity that allows us to “get lost,” giving our mind time to rest, and reminding us that there is more to life than this sadness which we experience. Physical movement or exercise, working on a craft or other project, or creating a recipe may be helpful suggestions!
- intentionally perform acts of piety
- As with any virtue, getting in to the practice of an external sign of that virtue (helping the homeless even when all of your desires say “stay home, be comfortable”) leads to the virtue becoming more natural within your soul.
- And similarly, when sad, our desires most likely do not point to external acts of piety, but doing them anyways therefore has all the more impact. May we express even more confidence to Our Lord, embrace the crucifix with more tenderness, and raise our eyes to Heaven more eagerly.
- engage in moderate forms of discipline
- For many of us, sadness makes us want to fall back into old habits and say “it is what it is” to many of our efforts. Sadness makes us want to indulge more, and settle in to comfort. Oh how the evil one LOVES this!
- Rather, when sad, may we seek “affliction of the exterior,” a bit like self-denial or discipline, in order to redirect our attention from the sad thoughts in our mind to the efforts made by our body. For example, fasting from a particular food or in general for a set of time, or turning the shower heat down just a bit more than usual. The ideas here are endless!
- pray
- When sad, many of us are inclined to wallow in the sadness, and can often forget that the most powerful tool of prayer still exists–yes, God wishes to aid us through ALL of our feelings and seasons!
- May we rather frequently address God throughout our days, denying the temptation within sadness to grow weary or upset with God, and speak to Him with words of sweetness, giving NO attention to sadness! And the most profound form of prayer, that which occurs at Mass (receiving Communion), is the greatest recommendation.
- explore your feelings with a wise and prudent person
- The enemy wants us to suffer in silence, keeping our sadness concealed so that we become isolated and without good council on matters of our heart, soul, and mind.
- Rather, may we reject the affliction the enemy desires for us, and confide in a spiritual director, a priest, a virtuous person in your life, a confessor, a therapist. We are not meant to suffer alone.
So the next time you feel sad, do not despair or grow weary! Even if none of the above make your sadness dissipate quite yet, remember that having patience and embracing the foot of the cross always yields fruit. This too shall pass. And you are not alone.
Buy “Consoling Thoughts on Trials of an Interior Life” by St Francis de Sales below:
St. Francis de Sales, pray for us!!
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